I am so grateful to find this evidence of other caring beings struggling with this issue. That helps so much. I am also dealing with a move to a town that is the antithesis of where I thrive. I had to move there because of a stroke, which though thankfully bland, did signal my descent into early aging, and need to be closer to help in form of family. Living on very tight finances, I feel bridged into a life transition that matches arrival of child. All is about survival and a new body, but without the delight of watching a child evolve. I feel the friend I am mourning, has disappeared from communication. Just gone poof into her child. I can’t travel to where she is, I can’t offer the helps suggested. I am just left to read the silences. I guess what is hard is what looks like a willingness to be non reciprocal. That is the hardest.
This comment sparked a conversation with a friend. It really helped me. Thank you finding a way to broach a difficult topic.
Within a couple of weeks of having my first daughter, one of my besties and university roommates came to stay. She vacuumed, let me nap, took over chores, and did our usual thing of chilling watching SATC and chatting shit. Years later, when she was launching her new business and panicked about website stuff, I spent several days with her helping her get it sorted. So yes to needs over feelings as it makes us more responsive to the person we know as opposed to what could become a very distorted story.
I am so grateful to find this evidence of other caring beings struggling with this issue. That helps so much. I am also dealing with a move to a town that is the antithesis of where I thrive. I had to move there because of a stroke, which though thankfully bland, did signal my descent into early aging, and need to be closer to help in form of family. Living on very tight finances, I feel bridged into a life transition that matches arrival of child. All is about survival and a new body, but without the delight of watching a child evolve. I feel the friend I am mourning, has disappeared from communication. Just gone poof into her child. I can’t travel to where she is, I can’t offer the helps suggested. I am just left to read the silences. I guess what is hard is what looks like a willingness to be non reciprocal. That is the hardest.
This comment sparked a conversation with a friend. It really helped me. Thank you finding a way to broach a difficult topic.
Within a couple of weeks of having my first daughter, one of my besties and university roommates came to stay. She vacuumed, let me nap, took over chores, and did our usual thing of chilling watching SATC and chatting shit. Years later, when she was launching her new business and panicked about website stuff, I spent several days with her helping her get it sorted. So yes to needs over feelings as it makes us more responsive to the person we know as opposed to what could become a very distorted story.
yes!!! xoxo
1. Pre-order is done!! I chose Barnes and Noble. I like to spread my pre-orders around.
2. I love the needs over feelings take. This could be a good episode for when you come back to the podcast. But we have time!! :)