How to say no during the holidays
Without sounding like a crotchety demon
Hello friends!
We did it! We’re in the holiday season. It’s here. It’s glittery. It’s bustling. It’s giving us that weird feeling of being super cold but also clammy and sweaty since we’re wearing six layers of clothing. Fun!
“And I’m here to remind you” - Alanis Morissette, also me, –– that you cannot –– and should not –– agree to do all the things people are going to ask you to do in the coming weeks. AND you don’t need to give a ton of excuses or twist yourself in knots justifying yourself.
The key to declining plans is to be gracious, direct, and warm, in that order.
“Thank you for the invitation, Becky [gracious], but I’m not interested in attending an ugly sweater party [direct]. I hope you have a lovely holiday [warm].”
“Thanks for inviting me to have lunch at Chuck E. Cheese [gracious], but I’m not a fan of the chaotic environment [direct]. Give my best to Charles Entertainment Cheese! [warm].”
“Thanks for reaching out [gracious], but I can’t attend your naked snowball fight [direct]. Toss a snowball (or three) for me! [warm]”
Once you do it a few times, it gets easier. And honestly, being authentic with your needs, wants and desires is the best gift you can give to yourself and others.
I hope you have a lovely, peaceful, restful holiday. I plan on finishing God of War: Ragnarok and drinking Lemon Zinger tea.
I’m also making a list of all the podcasts I’d like to appear on in the new year. Do you have a favorite podcast that would be interested in having me on as a guest to explain why modern friendships feel like a pile of sad garbage? Let me know!
Your buddy,
Anna
@AnnaGoldfarb everywhere
Two podcasts come to mind
- Lately I've Been Thinking About with David Dylan Thomas
- This is Your Afterlife with Dave Maher
(I don't ONLY listen to podcasts hosted by guys named Dave...)
That's great advice!! Gracious + direct + warm
And you obviously MUST come back on Dear Nina when Modern Friendship is released into the world. PLEASE!!!