The top 5 reasons why modern friendships suck
#4 Churn is high. Also: four things I love and two things I hate AND a new way for you to get help with your friendships (hint: It's a helpline run by me!!)
#5. Language is inadequate.
There are actually all different levels and categories of friends. For instance, there are active and nostalgic friends. There are also different tiers of intimacy. In my book MODERN FRIENDSHIP, I call them bathtub, jacuzzi, swimming pool, beach bonfire, and water park friends. Expectations are different for each group.
Understanding the variety of tiers will let you know how to manage the network of connections you’ve built. With this knowledge comes peace of mind.
#4. Churn is high.
Studies show we lose half of our friends every 7 years. It’s never been easier to shed friends. Why? Keep reading.
#3. Desire is fleeting.
In my research, I learned that every active friendship requires a clear and compelling reason to remain active. These reasons can change, be outdated, or be absent.
When we understand how desire functions in a friendship, we can negotiate with our friends and find reasons that’ll make both of you excited to get together.
#2. Anxiety is rampant.
We know who our bosses are, who is in our family, and who we’re in romantic relationships with. Friends? That’s way murkier. We don’t have formal rituals or status designations for our friendships, unlike those for other relationships.
Since uncertainty creates anxiety, is it any wonder that modern friendships are stressing everyone the fuck out?
#1. Overwhelm is EVERYWHERE.
It’s increasingly common to maintain contact with your nostalgic friendships on social media. These friends might share a common history with you, but––crucially––not with the other people in your life. That creates a sense of disconnection and alienation.
The Good News
My book MODERN FRIENDSHIP will help you understand why our friendships are being pushed to the brink – and give you the tools to thrive. I’ll give you scripts, exercises, and even a 14-day cleanse to make big changes quickly.
In fact, I’m so dedicated to helping you all understand your friendships, I’m launching a FREE Friendship Helpline. Behold:
Why am I doing this?
Because I genuinely want to help people figure out their friendships.
How much is it?
Girl, it’s free.
However, if you dig my advice and you’re like, *MIND BLOWN*, kindly read my book, MODERN FRIENDSHIP, or leave a review for it on Amazon and/or Goodreads.
Wanna know more? Click here.
Three Things I Love and Two Things I Hate
Watching podcasts on YouTube - It turns out I’m a visual person and I really like watching podcast hosts chat with one another. It feel more like a hangout to me.
Putting whipped cream directly in my mouth from the nozzle - I will never stop doing this. Ever. My favorite is to maintain eye contact with one of my cats while I do it. Don’t judge me, Iggy!!
Badly in Love (Netflix) - A dating show where Japanese adults with sketchy backgrounds date one another. Here’s the trailer:
It’s very low-key viewing and I’m starting to get invested in the people. It’s pretty raw at times. Anyone else watch this? Thoughts?
Two things I hate:
Hot honey - It’s the Jacob Elordi of condiments. I thought there’d be more instances where I’d want something “sweet and spicy” to pump up various foodstuffs. But they haven’t materialized! I don’t get the hype.
You’re probably wondering what other condiment/celebrity combos are out there. Timothee Chalamet is Heinz Ketchup. Zendaya is honey mustard. Okay, let me send this newsletter out so I can just order lunch already.
How expensive Spouts is - I want to love Sprouts, Whole Food’s crunchier, more pretentious, younger sister grocery store, but man, it is NOT cheap. And their aisles are all zig-zaggy. But I do like their old-timey barrels of snacks that line the front of the store. The siren call of chocolate-covered brownie bites by the pound calls to me. I’m a weak woman!!
I loved Modern Friendship and yes I rated it 5* on Goodreads!
Hot honey is great on a crumbed chicken schnitzel. To be fair it’s the only way I’ve eaten it but I enjoyed it very much.
And time! Time is sooo lacking. I need more friends that want to go on Target runs, I don't have time for dedicated hang outs that aren't mildly productive!